Wheedling Strategy in Marriage: Perception and Experience of Malay Men in Interpersonal Communication Context


A pilot study on wheedling strategy in marriage, in interpersonal communication is conducted to examine the approach and perception of Malay adult in view of wheedling concept and loving expression in marriage. Love and intimacy are known to be the unifying factor in marriage, more so when it reaches an extended period in life. In expressing their love and intimacy among married couples, interpersonal communication plays an imminent role as a medium to strengthen the ties among the two, as well as to ripen the existing relationship in their marriage. Common perception has it that the Malays react very differently to their Western counterparts in the practical aspect of affection towards their partners. The latter would be seen as more caring and at ease in expressing their affection. Generally, the Malay man are known to be lacking when it comes to expressing their affection, as well as being egoistic about their position as "the man of the family".

The values we subscribe to holds tightly to the religion and cultural aspects, which are different than to those of Western community. In contrast to that, the latter is known to be very open in expressing their affection towards their partner. Due to that phenomenon, it has become a common thought that the Malay chaps are difficult in expressing theirs and does not concern much of the partner's feelings.

It is common that the behavior of Western males have become a referral point and claimed to be representing all male human beings in the world. However, the Malay blokes have their own, unique ways in strategising wheedling techniques towards their partner, in achieving marital longevity. The influences of culture and religion have shaped their way of tackling the techniques and affection with their partners. As


such, this study have adopted the qualitative method where in-depth interviews were conducted among eight male, married informants. Their age range are between 35 to 60 years old, and have been married for more than 10 years, all of whom are residing in the Klang Valley. Among subjects that will be studied are the interpersonal method and approach used by these informants in preserving the marital harmony through wheedling strategy and their affection thrown to their wives.

Hariyati Ariffin